Name: Pari Khudadad Age: 28

Husband’s Name: Murza Province: Bagram

Daughters: 4 Sons: 2

Life has its ups and downs. It seems there are fewer ups and a lot of downs. When I went inside her yard I thought to myself I wonder how many families are living in this small house? As I was thinking this, suddenly six women with small children appeared in front of me. After introducing myself to them, I then asked for permission if I could go to their homes. They welcomed me warmly. I asked them what relation they have to each other. They smiled and said we are sister-in-laws. I was surprised to see how they were living in this small house. They asked me to see their rooms. I accepted and went to their homes. When I entered in the room which belonged to one of the women I thought that a servant was living there. It was very dark and small. The condition of the room was so critical that no one should be able to live there. I sadly asked who lived in this small room. Among them the one who was named Pari said that she was living there with her 6 children. I asked her if a guest came to her home where would they sleep? She said that she had cut her relations to relatives because if a guest were to come to her home there would be nowhere for them to sleep in such a small room. There is not enough room for her own family. After that tears were fell from her eyes. She was very hopeless. Then I went inside the room and I saw an old rug on the ceiling and some broken cups in the corner of the room. I started to talk with her. I asked her to tell me her life story. Then she sighs, what should she tell me about her life? It has been full of sorrow and pain and she wasn’t’ sure where she should start.

“Actually, I have lost the meaning for life and the way to live has escaped me.” I asker her why. She stared and said that when she was very small she played with toys in childhood. “I hadn’t passed that when the responsibility of a family came to me. Now it is about 13 years into my marriage. And I have 2 sons and 4 daughters. When I got married I was only 13years old and my husband was 30 years old. After my marriage the hardships of life opened to me. My first taste of hardship began when I learned that my husband was a gambler and a drug user. I was young and couldn’t accept his requests or his family‘s. And I wasn’t able to become pregnant. For 2 years I wasn’t expecting. They beat me a lot for no reason. My step mother-in-law beat me often for not getting pregnant.. She was always insulting me had no other work. She asked me why I was not expecting. And my husband was an irresponsible person. His mind was not working at all. All his attention was focused in revelry and drug use. He beat me a lot until he got tired of beating me. My life was the same for 2 years and after that I became pregnant. My mother-in-law, who was a very oppressive person, told me that I didn’t have to leave spaces between the births of my children and she needed a baby from me each year. But I had nothing to say in defense of my rights. From one side of it the birth of a baby created problems for me and from the other side I had still had to tolerate their oppression.”

While she related her story to me tears fell from her eyes and it was difficult for her to continue her story. But she continued on. “My mother-in-law was a wild animal to me. And my husband sold all the household equipment. My children were hungry for days and he was an irresponsible father for not paying attention to his family. Our condition was continuing on like this and I felt mental ill. When my health worsened sudden attacks would come over me. There was no one who could care for me expect my children. My mother-in-law couldn’t see to improve my situation. She became really happy yet didn’t want me to experience a day of happiness. She was always taking me out of the house with my children. My husband cared less for us and there were even nights that he was not coming home. He didn’t listen to me and he was a really irresponsible person. I was wandering around for a piece of bread. And my mother in law was not giving my children any food and she had no sympathy. I told her if you don’t care for me at least care for your grandchildren. She didn’t have pity. Sometimes she told me that she would give my children food but for some reason instead would say I have to do whatever she said. I said to her whatever you say I'll do that. She told me not to sleep at night and go clean ever part of the home and yard until the morning. If you slept then I’ll see you. I was doing everything for my innocent children and accepted whatever she told me. And like crazy I was cleaning and washing every part of the yard at the night till morning. In the morning, when the sun was rising, I felt like my body was not moving anymore. I accepted all those pains. My husband has a vegetable cart. However, he was earning money wasting it on drugs. Then I had to send one of my small children outside of the house to work. Whatever he earns we can eat lawfully earned food. For a full day he was selling plastics. Then I decided to take a loan. When the survey team came to our area I registered my name for the loan program. After receiving the first loan I bought sewing materials such as cotton, cord and other sewing materials and started to sew blankets. I was able to have income come in. From my income I bought materials for the home such as glasses, food items, curtains and also I bought clothes for my children and I sent them back to school. Now I can cover their school needs such as stationary and school uniforms. And I can pay the weekly installment of the loan. She hopes that AWC provides her with more loans so that she can start another business and improve her work. She says that she has the identity card and contact number which could be used in an emergency.

I aminterested in sewing blankets, tailoring, carpet-making and embroidery.